So something that I value most in my life right now is friendships that have weathered the test of time. People always say that friendships are another extention of you, this happens to be true. These people have been so supportive of me even when I did not deserve their friendship. There were times that we did not talk for months at a time and some that we talk everyday and still keep life going with all the other tasks that come into play.
I have some amazing friends that I would love to introduce to you later on as the series continues.
Growing up I was socially awkward. I couldn’t keep friends even if I tried. I would hold on to them tight when I had one and would suffocate them until they didn’t want to be my friend anymore (meaning I wanted to keep them around me and only me, if they had other friends I would get jealous and would find ways that they could not hang with them or would make them feel guilty for having other friends). As I got older I found out that I was able to keep friends as long as I was able to portray myself to be someone that I was not. So I lived a double life from the time I was 11-18 (this I will talk about later). When I began to be in my 20’s and I was getting serious about my walk with Christ I was really searching for friendships that were really sound. I searched and reached out to people. There was one friend that I had that really helped me get back in to communication with my parents and prayed with me. We don’t speak now but I know if I called her that she would be right there and we would pick up right were we left off.
Having good solid friendships that really challenge you, encourage you and help you grow in your Faith and thinking is so important. I think of the passage scripture in Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” this is the very instance of what friendship means to me. I also firmly believe the friendships we have also gives us a precurser or if you will say reflection into how you will be in your marriage. Not saying that this will be excatly how you will be but the relationships and how you handle certian things such as conflict will be pretty much the same way when things hit the fan in your marriage.
So here are some of the things that I have learned so far
- It’s okay to be who you are – This has to be a big one for me. All throughout growing up I have tried so hard to fit in and to feel like a belonged somewhere. it took me till my 31 years of life to figure out that it is okay to be me. I cry at the drop of a hat. I can be a huge ball of emotion and my friends still love and accept me for who I am and what I bring into their lives. I appreciate them so much for allowing me to be me and to invade their personal bubble!
- It’s okay to make mistakes – one of my friends on their birthday had told me that the space that they give is a non judgemental zone. That they new that although they did not know me that they give room for growth. BOY! Did I and don’t I still do need grow in certain areas of my life. This is not to say that you can be careless with the people that God places in your life. People are human and they make mistakes. Give people time and space to be who they are and to learn from the mistakes that have transpired. This will lead into the next step.
- Be willing to forgive – I know for some this can be really hard. I for one do not have this problem because I cannot hold on to grudges for a long period of time. But for others it can be a problem of letting go of the hurt that was done to them. I always tell people – forgiveness is a choice. It takes time for the wounds to heal. It’s okay to be hurt and to still go through the process of healing from that hurt. But choosing to forgive will help along with releasing whatever power that was meant to hurt you go.
These ladies pictured are the ones that I do ministry with me, they pray for me. They check up on me if they havent heard from me in awhile (I am working on the disappearing act that I do on occastion due to my busy schedule nowadays). We purposefully set up time to update each other to see what is going on in our lives. They also give me the hard truth even if I don’t want to hear it. To me that is pure love. Some of them I’ve known and have built a friendship with them for a long time and they have withered my storm of being moody and flaky when I was going through my fight with anxiety and depression. Some I have recently met and we have come to click on a spiritual level that we know we have been connected truly for a God given purpose.
Whatever it maybe for you. Value the friends that are in your life and see what the friends in your life have to offer you. Is it for the bettering of you? Or better yet, what do you add to your friends lives?
until next time,